Boatload of Crap

-Once again, Cole picks up the win on a mediocre effort. Five 2/3, 4ER, 6 hits, and six strikeouts. That’ll do against the Nationals, not against the rest of the league.

- This offense is good. ‘Nuff said.

-Ryan Howard is the midst of giving a giant F*** YOU to all the stat geeks that say that he only hits in September. .357, three absolute BOMBS, and only four Ks after the first week says all that you need to know about the start he’s having. Oh yeah. And a triple for the Big Piece. He’s here to play.

-Who kidnapped the bullpen and what did they do with them? 20 1/3 innings pitched, 3 earned runs (seriously?) for a Muggsy Bogues-tiny 1.32 ERA. I’m entirely too lazy too look up the horrific things the bullpen had managed to accomplish by this point last year, but by my estimate, Brad Lidge had blown 13 saves.

-Roy Halladay has a higher average than Raul and Shane. The next Babe Ruth, perhaps?

-On a serious note, J-Roll and Jayson Werth were both forced to miss all or some of the game today with injuries. Jimmy’s strained right calf will undergo an MRI later tonight, but Werth will not. Neither injury’s severity was specified, but Werth said that he was only taken out as a precaution. Is the calf going to interfere with Jimmy’s attempt at a world record?

-Finally, what the hell is this? Never again. Dear God, I’m begging.

Fightins claim Nelson Figueroa

This afternoon the Phillies claimed right handed pitcher Nelson Figueroa off waivers from the Mets. This is the second time Figueroa will be donning the red pinstripes. Back in 2001, Figueroa pitched in 19 games for the Phillies, accumulating a W/L record of 4-5 with a 3.94 ERA, striking out 61 while walking 37.

Hopefully this means more depth for the Phillies in the ‘pen, though judging by Figueroa’s last spring training outing (gave up 7 runs in one inning against the Marlins) good numbers may be hard to come by. One thing he doesn’t lack is eyebrows.